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Nov
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Nov
17th
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Nov
14th
Fri
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Twat of the Week 25Gary Rhodes has really pissed me off lately, I Saw him on Strictly Come Dancing and all he cared about was his bloody cooking book for Christmas not his dancing. The final nail was when I saw him in an advert  were he asks the twatty public in Watford what they think about Flora.
Twat of the Week 25

Gary Rhodes has really pissed me off lately, I Saw him on Strictly Come Dancing and all he cared about was his bloody cooking book for Christmas not his dancing. The final nail was when I saw him in an advert  were he asks the twatty public in Watford what they think about Flora.
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kayfabe:

danhacker:

Valve studios have released the cinematic posters for the four campaigns ‘Left 4 Dead.
All of these are brilliant poster designs in their own cheesy way. I really hope this game is everything I’ve been wanting from a zombie horde shooter.
Check there whole series out here

kayfabe:

danhacker:

Valve studios have released the cinematic posters for the four campaigns ‘Left 4 Dead.

All of these are brilliant poster designs in their own cheesy way. I really hope this game is everything I’ve been wanting from a zombie horde shooter.

Check there whole series out here

Nov
13th
Thu
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Ben Stiller Sequels (please click to see other posters)Name: Along Comes p(M)olly 2*Story: Same as the first one but Jennifer Aniston has cheated on Ben Stiller with the same guy out of The Simpson’s TM, Along comes Jenny from the Block with two ferrets (Ben stiller still has the first ferret from the first film) They get it on (the ferrets I mean), Ben does a poo, Lopez is a nutter. Happy EndingLaugh rating: 2 out of 5 with one in the wank bankHave I seen the original: yeah it was on itv 4 late one night, two nights in a  fucking row, I want CVD on itv 4 every night
Box Office ratings: Straight to DVD, It’s a chick flick so it does well, comes free with a cheap bottle of JLo perfume/drink. *doesn’t star Ben stiller
Name Dogde Ball 2: It’s a fucking sequelStory: (10 year later from the first one) It’s the Championship contest again, ten years later. Ben stiller’s team have gone into rehab (cough!). he wants to bring back the old team. all original characters playing themselves, yeah they are actually playing themselves (for real, real life, no acting) They win, Happy Ending with a guest aprence by David Hasselhoff again (live from rehab). plus chuck Norris Laugh rating: 2 out of 5,  3.5 out of 5 if it’s £4 again on dvdHave I seen the original: yes, thanks to WH Smith’S cheap dvd selectionBox-office ratings: Alright, it will probably buy Vince Vaughn a lot more slimming pills

Name: Night at the Museum 22 1/2: Battle for the audienceStory: Read IMDBLaugh rating: 2 Have I seen the original: no , well kinda , fell asleep on a plane half way throughBoxoffice ratings: absolute SMASH

Name: There’s something about BobStory Ben Stiller plays a gay man who loves his best friend from school, he hasn’t seen him in 20 years, he hunts him down and rapes himLaugh rating: 0 it’s quite graphicalHave I seen the original: yeah I saw it on a planeBox-office ratings: yeah does alright, around the SOHO area
Name: Tropic Thunder in ParadiseStory: Hulk Hogan is back, Same as the first one but more like an American channel 5 TV Movie cable show starring Hulk HoganHave I seen the original: no, haven’t seen a good enough  version on bitorrent filesLaugh rating: 2 , in 10 years time, 5 out of 5 , better then 3 ninjas 4, classicBox-office: none, Straight to CD-I or lazer disc on ebayName: Meet the (gran-) parents 3*Story: Ben stiller meets the gran parents of De Niro, they are old gangsters  who poo them selves. *with flash backs from the first two filmsHave I seen the original: yeah on a plane, every fucking Ben Stiller film I’ve seen is on a plane Laugh rating: 4 out of 5 if it’s written wellBox-office: absolute SMASH, after the same week of night museum 3  Name: Cable guy 2Story: I have no IdeaHave I seen the original: Hell Yeah, massive fanLaugh rating: 3.5 which is alrightBoxoffice: Flop, worse then the first, does alright on DVD, has massive advertsing advert in it - MORTAL KOMBAT VS DC 2!!!!!Name: Zoolander 2: In Search of Posh SpiceStory: DO IT!!!! Same, more of the same shit please, DO IT!!! NIKE tmHave I seen the original: yeah, have it on DVD - £3 in WH Smiths, Itv 1 and 4 show dailyLaugh rating: 4.5 out of 5Box-office: Don’t know, ok I guess, I’m not a big fat Cat from Hollywood (Can I have Wayne’s World 3 as well please)

Ben Stiller Sequels (please click to see other posters)

Name: Along Comes p(M)olly 2*

Story: Same as the first one but Jennifer Aniston has cheated on Ben Stiller with the same guy out of The Simpson’s TM, Along comes Jenny from the Block with two ferrets (Ben stiller still has the first ferret from the first film) They get it on (the ferrets I mean), Ben does a poo, Lopez is a nutter. Happy Ending

Laugh rating: 2 out of 5 with one in the wank bank

Have I seen the original: yeah it was on itv 4 late one night, two nights in a fucking row, I want CVD on itv 4 every night


Box Office ratings: Straight to DVD, It’s a chick flick so it does well, comes free with a cheap bottle of JLo perfume/drink. *doesn’t star Ben stiller



Name Dogde Ball 2: It’s a fucking sequel

Story: (10 year later from the first one) It’s the Championship contest again, ten years later. Ben stiller’s team have gone into rehab (cough!). he wants to bring back the old team. all original characters playing themselves, yeah they are actually playing themselves (for real, real life, no acting) They win, Happy Ending with a guest aprence by David Hasselhoff again (live from rehab). plus chuck Norris

Laugh rating: 2 out of 5, 3.5 out of 5 if it’s £4 again on dvd

Have I seen the original: yes, thanks to WH Smith’S cheap dvd selection

Box-office ratings: Alright, it will probably buy Vince Vaughn a lot more slimming pills

Name: Night at the Museum 22 1/2: Battle for the audience

Story: Read IMDB

Laugh rating: 2 

Have I seen the original: no , well kinda , fell asleep on a plane half way through

Boxoffice ratings: absolute SMASH


Name: There’s something about Bob

Story Ben Stiller plays a gay man who loves his best friend from school, he hasn’t seen him in 20 years, he hunts him down and rapes him

Laugh rating: 0 it’s quite graphical

Have I seen the original: yeah I saw it on a plane

Box-office ratings: yeah does alright, around the SOHO area



Name: Tropic Thunder in Paradise

Story: Hulk Hogan is back, Same as the first one but more like an American channel 5 TV Movie cable show starring Hulk Hogan

Have I seen the original: no, haven’t seen a good enough version on bitorrent files

Laugh rating: 2 , in 10 years time, 5 out of 5 , better then 3 ninjas 4, classic

Box-office: none, Straight to CD-I or lazer disc on ebay





Name: Meet the (gran-) parents 3*

Story: Ben stiller meets the gran parents of De Niro, they are old gangsters
who poo them selves. *with flash backs from the first two films

Have I seen the original: yeah on a plane, every fucking Ben Stiller film I’ve seen is on a plane

Laugh rating: 4 out of 5 if it’s written well

Box-office: absolute SMASH, after the same week of night museum 3




Name: Cable guy 2

Story: I have no Idea

Have I seen the original: Hell Yeah, massive fan

Laugh rating: 3.5 which is alright

Boxoffice: Flop, worse then the first, does alright on DVD, has massive advertsing advert in it - MORTAL KOMBAT VS DC 2!!!!!




Name: Zoolander 2: In Search of Posh Spice

Story: DO IT!!!! Same, more of the same shit please, DO IT!!! NIKE tm

Have I seen the original: yeah, have it on DVD - £3 in WH Smiths, Itv 1 and 4 show daily

Laugh rating: 4.5 out of 5

Box-office: Don’t know, ok I guess, I’m not a big fat Cat from Hollywood (Can I have Wayne’s World 3 as well please)

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I wonder what would happen if sober me had a conversation with drunk me

  • sober me: You alright?
  • drunk me: HELL YEAH !!!
  • sober me: you sure? you don't look it
  • drunk me: I googled conversation starters the other day, the first one was: What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?, What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
  • sober me: I haven't read one
  • drunk me: What?!
  • sober me: No, watching that Jim Carey christmas film doesn't count
  • drunk me: oh, question 5, Who's your favorite Muppet?
  • sober me: you know who my favourite muppet is, it's Beaker, you muppet
  • drunk me: do you think lindsay lohan has a myspace?
  • sober me: I don't know, probably, why?
  • drunk me: I might send her a message later, asking her out
  • sober me: You don't even like lindsay lohan
  • drunk me: yeah I do! I think we'll make a great couple, she's hot!!! AWOOGA!
  • sober me: ok
  • drunk me: lend us some money
  • sober me: why?
  • drunk me: to buy some drink
  • sober me: No, i think you've had too much
  • drunk me: no i fucking haven't, you cunt, blllluuurrrrr!!!!
  • sober me: you dick, all over my new shoes
  • drunk me: I bought them
  • sober me: you're an idiot
  • drunk me: I love you
  • sober me: I love you too
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This little bad boy only cost me £6 in Sainsburys today, I’m going to see how much I can drink on my own. Expect some bullshit posts
This little bad boy only cost me £6 in Sainsburys today, I’m going to see how much I can drink on my own. Expect some bullshit posts
Nov
11th
Tue
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Nov
9th
Sun
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Nov
5th
Wed
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“I’m sleeping with my mum”
“I’m sleeping with my mum”
Nov
4th
Tue
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via Terratag Flickr
via Terratag Flickr
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Twat of the Week 24Maybe I’m sticking my neck this week* but it goes to George W Bush Jr. He’s either one of the funnest comedians ever or just one of the biggest fucking twats ever. Actually he’s just a  fucking twat, good riddance twat face.(*trust me I have a long neck)
Twat of the Week 24

Maybe I’m sticking my neck this week* but it goes to George W Bush Jr. He’s either one of the funnest comedians ever or just one of the biggest fucking twats ever. Actually he’s just a  fucking twat, good riddance twat face.




(*trust me I have a long neck)
Nov
3rd
Mon
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(via lunchbagart)